Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I'm wondering...

... what I'm doing.

Had a great conversation with my dad last night. Makes me wonder why I was hiding from him for over a week. But then again, I do know I was afraid of getting the "old" reactions.

I constantly wonder why talking to someone else (who I'd love to be able to talk to) is like pulling teeth. I'm positive I've had better conversations with a sandwich. Totally sucks, but I'm learning to deal.

I also internalize absolutely everything. Is that a born, in-blood trait? Or is it taught? At this point, I'm a little unsure. Could be a blend of both. The big things that really bother me I don't even talk about. At least not until it builds up and bursts the seams. And then I'm a fountain of disgusting. Which is what I've become. And it's taken me 29 years to get to this place. I have 29 years of rotting garbage behind the gate.

Dad says open the door and take the trash out for good. I think he has a good point, especially because some of it is old, old, old. And I've tried to fix things, I really have. Only problem with really taking out the trash for good is: where do I get a shovel sturdy enough to scoop it, and where do I find a bag big enough?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Here. Where?

I'm hiding.

I'm imposing on a lot of people, and most of the time that feels bad. But I'm not sure what else to do at this point, so I continue.

Feeling: displaced, frustrated, angry, weak, lost, agitated, sad, lonely, overwhelmed, ugly, distracted. And WAY too needy. I don't like to be needy.

Listening to (on loop): Last Rites to Sleepless Nights - Less Than Jake

They've said it better than I could right now.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

It's been a while...

... wow, has it ever.

Sorry I've been missing. I've been a little sick. I'm still a little sick, but well on my way to feeling a heck of a lot better, at least physically.

This has truly wiped me out. I haven't slept this much in a really *really* long time. I feel a little bit dysfunctional, and strangely enough I'm really getting used to the 6:30 pm nap and 7:30 am rise. It's a little odd.

Not only has this wiped me out, it's been stressful for its own reasons.

More on that later. Potentially.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Will somone please tell me...

... what is wrong with me?

I have been sick for two weeks now. Sick a few days before vacation, sick all during vacation, sick now that I'm back.

Went back to the doctor last night because it's driving me crazy. I can barely swallow without gagging. They scraped my throat twice, they drew a whole bunch of blood. Now I get to sit and wait for a few more days while it all gets tested.

Since I've been through this all about two weeks ago (but on a slightly lesser scale), I have to wonder if they're going to find anything at all. Maybe I'm REALLY sick. Maybe I have something that no one knows about yet - some kind of as-yet-undiscovered illness that wreaks havoc on the infested.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is the physical manifestation of something completely different.

I am sick, and I am TIRED.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I've been at Disney World since Sunday.

It's Thursday morning, and I'm camped out in the room listening to Sammy J sing the blues. And trying to catch up on work emails. One would think that the Happiest Place on Earth would rub off a little, but honestly I've been twitching since Monday afternoon.

I've been sick since before we left. I'm still sick. I can't shake it and it's really getting old. That coupled with the fact that I absolutely, positively have been unable to relax this entire trip is truly maddening.

I got up really early yesterday, pulled on the yoga pants, and headed out the door to do some yoga by the lake to try and relax. No dice. It was pouring. And I really missed my yoga class back home last night. It's what keeps me sane in the middle of the week. I've resorted to practicing my breathing at odd times of the day just to stay in my right mind. It's not really working all that well but at least it's keeping my feet in the right place.

Work is on my mind, sickness is on my mind, and there are a million and one other things on my mind. I've been twitching for days. And all I wanted to do was exactly the opposite.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


I have many a thing to complete this morning, but a post has been screaming inside me since I woke up. I must let this one out, or face complete brain takeover in a mere few hours as it slowly devours the back right corner of my brain and works forward.

Please bear with me; I'm about to make a very strange correlation between two somewhat unlikely objects.

I have a sickness. This sickness is one I know I've carried for a very long time. So long, in fact, that I have long since become comfortable with it.

I love to pack for trips. And not in an easygoing, "this will work" sort of way. I'm tactical. Methodical. Rabid.

Step one is not look in the closet. Step one is make a list. Make a list of everything I'd like to take. Then, cross-reference that entire list to make sure everything is not only coordinated, but interchangeable with each other, as well as able to cover a variety of moods and temperatures. Top it off with everything has to say *me*. If not, it doesn't make the cut.
If I don't really need it, or if I can't picture several instances in which it might be useful, it goes.

Once my list is finalized, time for step two. I assemble, fold, manipulate, combine, roll and origami-style tweak everything into place. Yes, I can travel for a week (probably much longer) from a single carry-on suitcase. Once that bag is packed, ultimate satisfaction is achieved.

Here's where I promised a strange comparison, and where it gets wierd: Packing a suitcase is, at least for me, very much akin to accommodating any given room in a dwelling. Contents: A selection of things most important to you, assembled in a way they fit best in the space, all of them saying *you*.

And this brings me back around to something I have been dealing with for a good year and a half.

Imagine: You step off a plane. You pick up your bag. You get to your hotel, open it up, and dive in looking for the "comfort item" you packed. Maybe it's your favorite pajamas. Maybe it's your bedside crystal. Maybe it's your favorite t-shirt in the color that makes you feel so good. Guess what? None of it is there. As a matter of fact, everything in your bag is someone else's. Now you're stuck on a trip with someone else's stuff. And you have to make do.

That "stuff" was important to that other person at some point in time. But it's since been left behind. It's still *your* bag. It's time to change the contents.

Now imagine that suitcase full of things that aren't yours is the house you've been living in for almost two years. Again, it's time to change the contents.

It's impossible for me to pack well for others. It just doesn't work that way.

Side note:
Today's also a day where my brain picks a thousand different things to think about all at once so I don't have to dwell on some things that really are in the back of my mind. I've been doing that for six years now.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

43 Things

I discovered 43 Things a few days ago. What a perfect place to park my "list"! There are some things that I want to do that don't quite fit in a list of that nature, but that's okay. They can stay in my list from a few posts ago. I've placed the running tally permanently here on Steel Grey Pittsburgh; feel free to take a peek.

Instead of looking at what other people want to do, and then choosing them for my own, I have decided to go about this small project by typing in exactly what it is that *I* want to do... and then seeing how many other lonely souls out there are looking to do exactly the same. Surprisingly for some of these things, there are many. I think it's much more interesting to take what's in my own head and put it out there to see if it's already crossed someone else's mind.

Interesting to know that there are others out there with the same things on their minds.

Makes you feel... not so alone.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Guess What?

A journey of self-re-discovery, while undoubtedly delightful for the self, sure can serve to upset others.

Ugh. I could have received that one in a fortune cookie.

Perhaps I'm being thoughtless in my new Roland Deschain style of walking the earth.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

You've Got... Company!

For as insanely great as working in your pajamas curled up with a monster cup of coffee sounds, it is oftentimes not all it's cracked up to be.

I joined the leagues of the mighty telecommuters in 2005. I'm just 2 months shy of 2 years working remotely. "Remotely" is not a word to be taken lightly... in fact, it was a much larger adjustment than I had ever imagined. There are still days when I can feel my social skillset eroding away, bit by bit.

Evo's always bringing in the latest and greatest ways to keep in touch, and today was no different. Enter Ustream! We were able to hear and see each other for much of the day today... making it a very close "office buddy" alternative. There are a few kinks to work on, but other than that, it was very cool for a first run. I have even managed to link it live here into Steel Grey Pittsburgh - check it out off on the right side there and see if I'm around.

It's always nice to have company.

Thanks Evo - I probably would have lost my mind a year and a half ago without you.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Weekend Update... And, Oh Yeah, I'm Going Straight to Hell.

A little late for an update on this weekend's activities, but I've been a busy girl!

Saturday's activities included a juggling adventure, and, of course, a music adventure!

If you haven't seen the Shoebox Tour yet, GO! These guys are incredible - a variety of juggling skills on display. A couple things I can do (but I'm quite the mediocre juggler and proud of my minimal skills), many things I'd sure like to try, and several that made my jaw hit the floor. To top it all off, everything was set to music of the most interesting variety. Matthew and I actually got called up on stage to demonstrate one of the "10 New And Amazing Great Juggling Tricks..." and Matthew being the natural showman that he is, was invited to stay up on stage for a round of juggling musical chairs. Good, good times.

Now that I've seen some serious contact juggling in action, I've really got the itch to get started.

After the juggling show, it was off to see Squirrel Nut Zippers at Mr. Smalls. I'm still feeling a little wierd about the "costumage" shall we say, but other than that, they were fantastic! Definitely a different experience from the other shows I've been frequenting lately, but a good one nonetheless.

Now that I've gotten this far, time to address the second half of this post's title. I bought size 0 jeans and refrigerated (premade) cookie dough in my out and abouts today. I'd like a window seat, please.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Size Check, Please?

Last night I finally got so agitated by the state of my jeans that I went shopping.

By state of them, I don't mean they're destined for the garbage, or so worn in places they've become dangerous. No... they're falling off.

I have spent the past few weeks in various states of amazement as all of my jeans progressed from "a little loose" to "if I don't wear a belt they'll slide down" to "if I don't wear a belt they'll fall completely off, but if I do wear a belt it folds the waistband". Uncomfortable, and to be quite honest, dumpy.

So Gap got me again for $58. Yeowch. But I'm a sucker for their jeans because they actually make jeans that FIT.

Speaking of fit, I left there with jeans in a size 1. I haven't worn anything that small since freshman year of college, and it's a vast departure from what I have been wearing. Which made me pause yesterday, and is still occupying my brain today.

Three thoughts:

1) I read an article a while back that examined clothing manufacturer size charts, and what those same sizes actually measured at decades ago. They're vastly different. Has a size 1 changed so much since the last time I bought pants that it only appears I've skipped a few sizes?

2) I'm starting to think I may have a tapeworm.

3) I'm standing on the next scale I find.

I'm off, time to start this day. Housework this morning, fun this afternoon and evening.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Random Morning Thoughts

A few notes on what's running through my head early this morning:

* Yoga is amazing. Post-show, however, it is excruciating.
* Pigeon pose has pretty much destroyed my hips for the day.
* I need / want to eat more artichokes. They're just so fun and delicious.
* All of my dreams last night involved bugs or spiderwebs or both. Disturbing. Will have to look that up later.
* Contact Juggling belongs on my list of things to do. There's another project to get started on. I've wanted to do that for a really long time.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'll Have the Grilled Cheese and a Sippy Cup, Please

A lunchtime post today - because I didn't get a chance to last night (home at 2 am) and because I won't get a chance to later (yoga and dinner).

That, plus I still want to capture some of the glow and, well, pain.

Last night's show - Against All Authority, Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fish and Less Than Jake - was phenomenal. My second show on this tour (Buffalo was my first), and honestly I wish I could make tonight and tomorrow night's shows (the last two of the tour)... unfortunately Scranton and DC are a wee bit far to be trekking out on school nights.

I made a bit of a mistake during this show - I assumed the crowd would function similarly to Buffalo. I realized a little bit too late that this crowd actually felt more like a fraction of a second away from a full-on fist fight.

I am sorely mistaken on my assumption today (horrible pun intended). These ribs, they hurt. They hurt bad. The rest of me sort of hurts too, but I don't feel too out of the ordinary. Just a little stiff; the post-show rust in my joints I have come to expect. And a sore throat. My companions did not fare much better - one kicked square in the head, the other with a lovely shiner to show for last night's activities.

Needless to say, shows like that reduce you to grilled cheese and sippy cups from Eat 'n Park. Luckily enough for us, they're more than happy to oblige at 1 am.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Power of Words

I have discovered the joy and heartache of a brand new book, at the recommendation of my yoga teacher.

She brought it to class a few weeks ago, and I happened to see it out the corner of my eye during my last jaunt to the bookstore to purchase (you guessed it) the last Harry Potter. Since I can never read just one book at a time anyway, I added it to my stack.

I started it a couple of weeks ago, about the same time I started Harry Potter, but I was in such a race (with myself and two others) to finish, I fell a little behind on the new book. I now wish that hadn't happened, because right around the time I made that purchase was the same time I really NEEDED the book. Without even realizing it.

A couple days ago I plucked this book back off the shelf to give it another go, and started over. Reading a few pages here and there, slowly bringing myself from the world of wizards and magic into someone else's real-life story of struggle, learning and discovery. And last night, I fell so deep into it at one point I was certain that someone had tipped a bucket of ice water over my head. And when the water was gone, proceeded to throw the bucket square at me. And then kick me in the shins.

Parallels between this book and my life at present leaped off the pages. I needed a pencil, and fast. I haven't needed a pencil since the first time I read The Dharma Bums, and that's been many years ago.

I grabbed a pencil and dove back in. I'm making a mess of this book, and damn does it feel good.

The book? Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Thanks, Elizabeth, for sharing.


Sunday, August 19, 2007

Pig Roast '07

870 Miles, way too much food and a radioactive facial sunburn later, "Da Roast" '07 is complete.

I'm tired. Really, really tired. Stuart made approximately 230 new friends, and I got to catch up with a handful of friends I haven't seen in a year, and a couple I haven't seen in two years.

Shower completed, 8 layers of grime removed. Cup #2 of peppermint tea awaits.

Friday, August 17, 2007

For anyone curious...

I realized today that my last post was a little vague. It was full of good intention, with some emotion to back it up - but for anyone truly interested in the evolving I've been doing, I thought I'd take a minute to post two lists.

List One: What I have been up to.
List Two: What I'll be up to soon.


What I have been up to? In the past few weeks, well, throwing a sopping wet towel... in. Not necessarily in order, but as close as I'm going to get past midnight on a Friday morning:
* Came back to my blog with fresh eyes
* Started a Google map and beer project
* Saw The Pietasters
* Visited Niagra Falls
* Went to another city, in another state, for a concert (Against All Authority, Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake)
* Stretched my ears again, finally, after almost 2 years at 12s. And I skipped a size and went straight to 8s. Which I know I shouldn't have done, but I was just too ready.
* Ran a soap show day all by myself
* Finally decided on my next tattoo set design and placement
* Went to Warped
* Saw Dave Matthews in concert

Which brings me to list two, and what I'll be up to soon. No rhyme, reason or order to this list. Just things on a list I want to get to:
* Actually get the aforementioned tattoos
* Stretch my ears to a 6 without waiting 2 years
* See the Shout It Loud Tour again (already have tix for this so it's ON! LTJ, here we come!)
* See as many concerts as I can manage
* Clean out my wardrobe
* Find a replacement for my most favorite belt that broke about 3 years ago. I still pine for it. It was the perfect belt.
* Learn to ride and buy a scooter. Preferably a Vespa. Preferably red.
* Start taking vitamins again
* Kick some ass and take some names and finally start that podcast
* Stop asking for a visit, and finally come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to get one.

I expect these lists to grow from here on out. Now you know.

Monday, August 13, 2007

I've been out and about...

Fall is on its way. I can feel it.

Was the tilt of the sun a little bit different today? The air a little less humid? The sky bright blue, but just a little more 'crisp' than it has been? Yes. All of the above. The neighbor's sycamore tree has already started to drop, as has the chestnut hovering over my back deck. The dog days of summer are nearly over.

I'm very much a Fall person. I'd rather be wearing a sweater and jeans than tank tops and shorts. Time to shed those dreaded (but necessary in Pittsburgh humidity) clothing articles. It's almost time to switch out of those colors that never really agree with me and back into the cozy creams, dark greens, burnt reds and blacks that I feel so much better in.

In speaking of change, a step back to what I've been up to the past few weeks.

A while back, I promised myself I was going to start doing things I've been wanting to do for a long time. Things I've been holding myself back from, things that I was being held back from by outside sources, things I just never got around to doing but should have.

I've started to do some of those things, take them on so to speak. And I'm just getting started. I've been having the time of my life the past few weeks. Taking a day or two off work here and there, something which I NEVER did before unless absolutely necessary (even when I had plenty of days). Going places I've never been and seeing things I've wanted to see. All the while trying to come to terms with things in my past that haunt me, and things in my present that torture me. Attempting not to have some sort of crisis in my 30s.

It has been an interesting journey so far. For those of you interested, I'll let you know what happens from here.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Who Is Tom Mix?

There are times when I hear / see / am exposed to something odd more than once in a day. Today was one of those days.

A quick breakfast in front of the TV. On WQED, a show about interesting places in Pennsylvania. During my few seated minutes was a segment on Mix Run. Having grown up in the middle of nowhere, PA, and having traveled nearly all of this great state, I was intrigued because I don't recall ever hearing of Mix Run. During the segment, a name was mentioned: Tom Mix.

Having consumed it as a semi-interesting point in PA lore, I went about my day and stored it for later.

During a mop break (heavy-duty summer cleaning going on today), I turned on the TV for some quick learning. Completely different channel - this time the History Channel. On was a show about cereal and the Kellog brothers. During an interview, a gentleman spoke of "listening to the radio, and hearing Tom Mix tout the benefits of cereals". There it was again. Tom Mix.

Second time around for something strange like that, and at that point it becomes less Tom Mix and more Tom Marvolo Riddle.

So who is Tom Mix? I hit up Wikipedia for the answer - turns out he was an actor in the 20s and 30s. Go check it out, learn something new!

Tom Mix as provided by Wikipedia

Saturday, July 21, 2007


Yesterday was a big day.

Since the nasty bruise from my IV drip has faded into a lovely combination of Crayola's Chartreuse and Bittersweet, and my appetite has been ravenous for a couple days, I decided to give real food a go last night. It worked!

Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, but I indulged in a steak. Fillet, to be exact. I've been out of the food circuit for several days and I wanted a bit of a treat.

Everything went down fine, but I did discover a few interesting things:
1) I can't eat anywhere near what I used to consume. In fact, I can only eat about a third as much at this point.
2) If I don't chew my food into oblivion first, it hurts when it lands.

Point one I'm a-okay with. I get to have delicious steak for lunch today.
Point two is strange. I've always been a slow eater. Now I'm even slower.

I guess it will all come back in time. I'll be nursing this one for a while. My pants don't fit the same.

On a more interesting note, the boy and I went to see Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix last night. Three words: wow, awesome, and DARK. We've seen them all, and personally I think this is the best so far.

We were discussing afterward how the movies have really progressed - the first ones were pretty kid-friendly for the most part. This one, I'd say not so much - it really was dark, and using the word sadistic wouldn't be out of line. Sick and twisted, but now I'm even more excited for the final two.

I'm going to forage for breakfast foods and chew them very very thoroughly.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Sometimes I forget.

Sometimes I forget things. Important, life-changing things. I get stuck. And every once in a while, something happens to turn me back around.

I spent the night in the ER on Monday. As a matter of fact, 11:30 pm on Monday to 7:00 am on Tuesday. We'll take it easy with the horrible in-depth descriptions and call it an inflamation of the stomach lining. Spending a night there will certainly bring one back around. At this point it's nearly Thursday, and I'm still tired. It's gotten me thinking.

I don't want to be lost anymore. I want to start doing things I've wanted to do for a long time. And why the hell not?

I'd really like to have more fun. I've been so focused on being so serious for so long, I've made a permanent habit of putting things off. Things I want to do to keep *me* happy.

I need to get away from holding myself back.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Your Beating Was Acoustically Pleasing!

Back! Tired! (Really, really tired...)

Let's just say the Buffalo trip was a blast.

We started out early and got up to Buffalo with plenty of time (but not plenty of leg room - it's a good thing I have no problem curling up in a car!) Since we were so early, the boys were awesome enough to drive just a little bit farther north and take me up to Niagra Falls. In all my 29 years I've never been there. It's amazing, breathtaking, and mind-boggling. Water, rushing water - and the earth just... stops. Incredible.

From there back to downtown Buffalo and the Town Ballroom for Against All Authority, Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fish and Less Than Jake! Amazing, amazing show. I've been a fan of Reel Big Fish for many years, and very recently Less Than Jake has started to crowd out some of the older music in my iPod that's been kicking around in there for far too long. The entire show was nothing short of stellar! I'm quite positive Streetlight Manifesto will find their way into my iPod shortly. I hadn't heard much from them previously, but last night they were fantastic!

What I lost in the pit last night:
* 5 pounds
* (almost) a bracelet

What I got in the pit last night:
* something that felt at the time like a cracked rib (but is thankfully just fine this morning!)
* 2 kicks to the head
* 3 elbows in the face (sometimes it pays to be short, other times not so much)
* bubbles in my eyes
* a bunch of confetti

The Shout It Loud tour will hit Pittsburgh in August - we'll be there!

I managed to haul my camera phone and a notebook around for everything but the show - photos on flickr.

Some brilliant quotes from the crew:
* "You're talking over Hall and Oates, my friend."
* "Falls and mysteries ahead!"
* "You'd be falling for a while, I'd probably laugh before you splatted."
* "And the bunny on the paper towel will come alive someday."
* "Your beating was acoustically pleasing!"
* "It's been on you my friend, it's goddamn lucky."

Three others from (overheard) outside sources:
* "You better watch how you talk to me or you'll find that ice cream over the falls!"
* "I'd trust Mythbusters before I trusted you."
* "A tattoo. They put ink in your dermis." "What the hell is a dermis?"

And while I'm at it, I tag M, M (YES, YOU, stop your whining!) and Tracy for 5 Things About the Real You. Go for it, kids.

Friday, July 06, 2007

I've Been Tagged!

I'm in a perpetual state of "behind". Anything else new?

I was tagged by Evo several moons ago for five things about the "real" me. Sorry it's taken me so long! You'll understand the quotes on "real" after you peruse #5.

1) I grew up in a very rural part of northcentral Pennsylvania. My definition of rural: Population est. 2,000, closest neighbor 1/2 mile away, 20 minutes outside of "town". A full hour away from a mall of any flavor. Growing up there and moving to New York City immediately afterward was a bit of a shock. (I'm back in PA now, albeit in Pittsburgh.)

2) When I was 17, I toured 6 European countries in 5 days, in the backseat of the smallest diesel Renault on the planet. Countries visited, in order: France, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Italy, Germany. I slept in the Louvre, and visited the Postage Stamp Museum in Vaduz.

3) I was a radio board op / DJ / ad programmer / ad and news writer /producer for the local radio station in my hometown during my high school years. Amazing job. So amazing, in fact, I proceeded from there to college where I took up Communications as my major, with my focus in radio. Where, oh where is radio headed now?

4) I had an emergency appendectomy in 1998. I was sick, sick, SICK. The doctor told me it was not only punctured and leaking, it was green and "growing something" when they removed it. Green. "Growing" something else. That's just terrifying. I spent a week in the hospital, and consequently nearly failed a couple of my college courses that semester. Some professors just won't take a stapled, 5 inch gash in your stomach as an excuse.

5) I have been described by multiple people as being "an onion".

And there you have it. A few of my "grey" secrets.

I'm not sure who to tag for this, but when I come up with my list, I'll post them.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

By Now, It's Interesting

Well I've been at it for a couple weeks, so there's enough there now to make it mildly interesting. Check out my flickr photos.

Front and Center

Bring it on... Let the summer concert series begin!

Last night's concert at Mr. Smalls Theatre was nothing short of phenomenal! The Pietasters were amazing!

Important notes from last night:
* When the lead singer almost steps on your hand, you're really close.
* Millvale is creepy, but I'd go back.
* Eat 'n Park's midnight breakfast buffet does not always open at midnight, and the mob once it does open is not that much different than a mosh pit.

A road trip to Buffalo next weekend for Less Than Jake and Reel Big Fish awaits...

Sunday, June 17, 2007

If I go, I'm going with my shoes on.

Hell, I don't even know what that means. But what I do know is that I found myself not only thinking it, but taking action on it today.

To set the stage... A flight that should have taken an hour and a half, took, well, a hell of a lot longer.

I left my house at 12:30. It takes at least an hour to get to the airport. Today was no different, really, a little more traffic than normal but they've been ripping up the expressway in sections, so that causes things to back up.

Got my boarding pass, no problem. Then things started to get a little wierd.

I moved through the security line, but when it was my turn... the lady circled a bunch of things on my paperwork, glared at me (GLARED!) and told me to step around to the last "special line". I've been through this line before, so I thought, "no problem". Little did I realize at the time of that thought, but I was about to get patted down and my luggage ripped through.

I'm all for safety, but honestly I was starting to feel a little wierd when TSA came over with rubber gloves on. They opened all my bags. And dusted everything they could find.

Sigh. And that was just the beginning.

Just because a plane boards and leaves the gate on time does not actually mean they will get you to your destination on time. In fact, a flight that should have taken an hour and a half actually ended up taking four. FOUR. 4. hours. Leaving my house at 12:30 in the afternoon and arriving at my destination at 8:45 PM is a slight bit on the ridiculous side. I could have driven it faster!

Thank god it was Jet Blue and I could drown my misery in episodes of Man vs Wild. You go, Bear. Say, have they ever dropped you on a plane sitting on a runway for four hours, with the captain telling you every 30 minutes that it will "just be another 10 minutes"? Because that might not be a bad idea for a future episode. Just a thought.

I'd watch you forage for snacks on an airliner. Shame on me for not bringing my own.

So back to the reason for the title. Cab ride was just a little hairy, and when traffic backed waaaay up, my cabbie took to the side streets. After a quaint little jaunt through my old neighborhood (doesn't look like anything has changed in the year and a half I've been gone), we got a little deeper into the side streets. The fact that the driver really didn't see any difference between narrow, one way streets with cars parked on both sides and the parkway was a little bit disturbing... and I found myself thinking... "This guy is nuts! Well, if I go, I'm going with my shoes on!" And I proceeded to put my clogs back on (which I'd slipped off a few minutes prior).

What I was thinking, exactly, I'm not sure. If we crash, and I die, what difference does footwear make?

Tired. Morning meetings. I'm out. I'll be pondering my footwear the rest of the evening.

Outward Bound

Sitting in the Pittsburgh Airport, waiting for flight.

This feels wierd, but I'm sitting in an airport, looking out the window, and watching...

an airshow. Yep, that's right kids, there's an airshow in the distance. I've been to plenty of those in my life, and to be perfectly honest something is really lost in the experience when you're really far away and watching it from the inside of an airport.

Feels wierd.

That's all for now, gotta post this before the battery dies. Outlets dogged.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Tonight, I Ponder.

Tonight, I ponder on the ways of the world.

Got some bad news today... about 12:45 AM to be exact. And honestly, I've felt all day like someone punched me square in the gut.

I'm sorry kiddo. Really really sorry.


On top of that I leave for a 2 1/2 day jaunt to New York tomorrow afternoon. I was really excited a few days ago. Now I'm really bummed because in my heart I feel like there's somewhere else I should be.

Even though I know you're all grown up and you can take care of yourself, I still feel like I should be there. But I don't even know what I would or could do for you at this point. A hug just wouldn't be enough, really. Just know I'm here, and you always have a place to stay.

Enough. I'm done.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

What the F$%^&*(!!!

Ugh! And what the hell???

I've been lost, kids. Lost.

What started out as a really cool experiment (at least I though
t so), turned into a running commentary on what was going on in my life (which was okay too although not that interesting to anyone else besides me), turned into a project I no longer did anything with.

What a shame.

Honestly, I'm more than a little dissappointed in myself at this point. So, I have decided to pick back up where I started. Maybe not alllll the way back, because I think it got to be sort of a drag recording the stats and datapoints and what-have-you, because that's what I do all day anyway. So from here on, I give you: What's In My Head. And I'm going to try this without a rigid update schedule. We'll see how it goes.

Items of note today: my webcam fell into my coffee. Sigh. Just in case you'd like to know what the webcam's point of view was:

And to give you a glimpse into real-life, I've also included here a picture of my BeBop playing with his favorite office toy - a water bottle. I know you're asking yourself "what's an office toy", and for that to be answered you should know that BeBop (not his real name, but if it had been up to me to name him in the first place it would have been) is a JRT with, err, um, some issues - and the *b*a*l*l* is absolutely never allowed upstairs, and god forbid anywhere near the office. The downstairs is just fine enough, thanks.

Yeah, the picture's blurry. Have you ever tried getting a still picture of a Jack Russell Terrier? Nigh onto impossible. It took me at least 30 quickshots to get this one, and the only reason you can *kind of* see what he looks like is because I was holding the bottle in his mouth still.

Enjoy. I'll be back from now on, more than likely erratically and as time permits. Once I get the old car back from the garage she'll probably be able to do 88 mph and from there, I'll have LOTS more time. I think.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Bad Blogger. No Donut.

Bad blogger, no donut. So says a friend of mine, and damn is he ever right. I suck.

So, where, exactly, have I been? Around, I guess you could say.

Quite a lot going on right now... Springtime (is it springtime? by more than calendar only?) is always a crazy time for work. I finally got the pup I have been pestering for (but I think I posted that last time), not to mention my widdle bwudder is getting married in a couple months. Excuses? Perhaps. But I feel I have genuinely been a very busy girl.

I would have snuck straight off to bed tonight, but in my internet travels looking for recipe cards (yes, recipe cards of all things because I cannot find them in a store to save my life) I came across something I absolutely, positively, just had to share.

Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974: http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

I was stunned. I was amazed. And I wanted to vomit. All simultaneously. Have a gander. If you have a sense of humor like mine, you'll double over.

That's all for now - I'll be back. I promise.

And I'm not going to bother posting on the weather... my study is pretty much out at this point.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

And Then There Were 4

I've been missing a hell of a long time.

In that time, I'm not really 100% sure what's happened. Guess I just lost track of things. This family became 4 and that's really been time-consuming.

All the bitching I've been doing about wanting a dog, and one pretty much just fell into our lap.

Stuart, thanks for making me get out of bed in the morning, regardless of my really not wanting to. Thank you for making me go outside in the middle of the day to get some fresh air - because when you don't bark I lose track of time and never get the chance. And thank you for being rambunctious (sp?). I need you to be. And thanks for barking when you hear wierd noises in the house. I need that too.

I can't think and this isn't going to be much of a post. Just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. More later.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Yoga Fun and Horny Fish

Did the headline catch your eye?

Last night was my very first Yoga class, and please allow me to say I'm more than pleased. Had a great time, was nowhere near as scary or hard as I thought it might be. I broke a sweat - which I haven't done for some time, and actually got out of the house - which is always a treat for me. I'm a little sore today, actually, but I'm really not all that surprised. It was fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that we're planning on going again next Wednesday. And even better - I found free on demand programming on our cable with Yoga workouts - and just did one. Awesome. And our house is freezing cold, so it's helping me keep warm too. Sweet.

I've been feeling really bad for Bayonne (he's a betta) - he has his own special bowl in the kitchen and since it's been so cold lately, his little bowl has been feeling like ice. He's been so chilly that he's awfully sluggish and barely moves much at all. In fact, this morning I had to shake his bowl to get him to move and eat, and that never happens. So, I decided to move him into the big tank. He seems to be doing fine so far; granted he's only been in there for about an hour now. He's hanging out in all the plants and keeping to himself, so we'll see how it goes.

And that brings me to the fact that we have a horny tankful of fish. The three [now officially identified as] molly babies are doing splendidly. I was feeding them and watching Bayonne carefully - when I noticed a small glint of orange. Since it was under the bubble wall, I thought my brain was playing tricks on me... But no. I checked - there are at least 5 orange platy babies (they're definitely orange this time!) hiding out in the bottom of the tank! I can't even begin to net them yet - they're good hiders and, well, have about the same number of molecules as a speck of dust. I guess all this means we have a healthy tank... and a big school of horny fish.

We'll see what happens in the morning - with any luck, instincts will kick in and they'll come out to eat.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 9
Notable Food Consumption: Tortellini

Saturday, February 03, 2007

I'm Back.

Back. I skipped a few days. Work's been insane and to be honest after I'm done for the day I've been feeling so burned out that there really isn't much energy left. And I certainly don't want to spend that tiny little bit that's leftover in front of another computer. But I'm back today, after a much needed day for me.

Had a bit of a beauty day earlier - had my hair dyed (it's been far too long) and trimmed. Wow, amazing how much better I feel after just that tiny change.

Hit both craft stores today - picked up a wooden box and some paint. I have some fabric to cover the inside with. The idea: create a lovely little storage box for my quickly multiplying rock/mineral/crystal collection. I realized last week that I kept picking up my rocks from all over the house and bringing them into my office. Pretty soon the pile on the desk (right in my workspace, no less) had grown to ridiculous proportions. Besides the fact that they were getting hard to work around, all the little buzzes and hums from each of them was making it impossible to concentrate. What made me bring them into the office in the first place? Not sure. I do know that they quickly became very distracting. So, I moved most of them into the bedroom, which is where they usually reside. Now, I feel as though they're distracting there too - and a bedroom is really no place to be distracted. So, the box. Perhaps if I store them in their own safe little cubby, they'll get some good naps in and be all ready to work when I need them.

Still haven't opened the mini chakra set I got at Mesa. Definitely want to do that soon.

The baby fish are all doing amazingly well, they're growing like little weeds. At first, I was certain they were baby platys. They were miniscule, grey baby fish. Now that they're looking more like grownups, I realize I've made a mistake. They have to be baby mollies. Which completely throws me off. My girl mollie died at least a week, if not two weeks, before I ever noticed these little guys in the tank. Mollies are live-bearers... So the only thing I can figure out is that she died giving birth. And it took me anywhere from a week to two weeks to notice there were baby fish in the tank. Makes me kind of sad, since mollies supposedly have a lot more babies than three. How many of those babies got chomped by all the other fish in the tank before I noticed? Gruesome thought.

Well, it's Saturday, and it's time for pizza. With garlic butter.

Average Daily Mood: 8
Average Daily Sky: 9
Notable Food Consumption: McDonalds (cut me a break I'm sure it's been nearly a year) and pizza. Yes, we're going for the saturated fat and sodium marathon today.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

A quick one before bed...

Spent a lot of time in front of the TV this evening, burning my brain on Robot Chicken. Seriously the best show on the planet right now... Happened to find Season one at FYE on supersale at the mall. 100% money well spent.

Went out for dinner - that was nice.

I spent some time "sanitizing" the house today... and when I say "sanitizing," I don't mean in the traditional, cleaning-up way. What I do mean is "sanity-izing". I added some nice accessories to every door leading to the outside of the house. I have even more to add tomorrow, but they're a little bit more complicated to do and will take some time. It's just about the only thing I can do for right now, short of running out and buying a pit bull tomorrow. Can't do that though - there would be a couple unhappy dwellers in this castle if I did.

Been trying to check in on Joe all day - but can't seem to get onto any of the sites where I know I can find an upate. I can't even find any comments posted on Digg due to high traffic... Will be checking in early morning.

Since I spent way too much time today in places without windows (isn't it evil how malls don't have them, so you have no clue how much time you've spent there?), my self-diagnosis isn't sure to be exactly accurate. Take it with a grain of salt.

Average Daily Mood: 4
Average Daily Sky: 6
Notable Food Consumption: ribs & coleslaw

Friday, January 26, 2007

Needing to Save My Preoccupied Brain

Yes. I've gone missing for a couple of days. And I won't be catching up on those missing days. Yep, that throws a bit of a wrench in my tracking, but I've been crazy busy the past few days and honestly just haven't had it in me to take a minute and a half and post. Lazy? Perhaps. Preoccupied? Completely.

Work's been nuts and I'm to the point where I'm not quite sure when I'm going to catch up. It better be soon or else I'm going to start losing massive amounts of sleep.

A good friend came over Wednesday and stayed over :) - hence no Wednesday post. The couch also came Wednesday morning, and it's even better than expected! Too bad we've only sat on it twice since it came in... the front room is so ridiculously cold we can't really hang out there at night.

No Thursday post because, well, I spent most of my non-work time sleeping on the couch in the back room. It was freezing out and snowy all day. Nothing like a nice winter's nap by the fire on a day like that.

Which brings us to today.

I'm not going to go into details on this first part because, well, this is the internet and you never know who is reading your stuff, good or bad. But strike it sufficient to say that someone came onto our property and took something that wasn't theirs. Technically wasn't even ours, as a matter of fact, which makes it even worse. Considering this person was about 2 feet from our front door when they did it, it freaks me out even more.

I gave up on the dog thing a while back (I've felt the need for a dog for about 5 years now), but now it's back and stronger than ever. All I can think is that what happened never would have if we'd had a dog. Barks go a long way to turn someone around - and even an alert would have sent us to the window. We could have even gotten a description.

Assholes. I hope you get what's coming to you. Not only for the fact that you took something that wasn't yours, but that you came into my driveway uninvited, dangerously close to my house, and helped yourself to things. Fuck you for making me feel like a complete whackjob in my own house. Every bump of my cat jumping off the bed, every whir and click of the heat kicking on, every ping of the radiators warming up, every car door outside and even the squeak of the mailflap has freaked me the hell out today. Thank you, yes, thank you for turning me into a psychopath in my own dwelling. Is nowhere safe?

Karma, so they say, is one mother fucker. I sure hope you get your fair share.

A completely different topic, but an additional item that has my brain preoccupied: Joe Murphy, of The Kick Ass Mystic Ninjas and Wingin' It fame, went into surgery tonight. While I haven't had the distinct pleasure of meeting Joe in person, I'm an avid Wingin' It listener (even if I am perpetually a few shows behind) and always enjoy his commentary. He has a form of cancer I sure as hell can't spell... and just the word "cancer" is scary enough. Sending some positives your way, Joe. Anyone else that's bothering to read my cheezy little blog - won't you send Joe some love too?

That's it for tonight. Paranoid and worried. Over and out.
Average Daily Mood: -10
Average Daily Sky: 4
Notable Food Consumption: tortellini and elderberry wine

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Warm Cozy by the Fire

Nearly midnight and I'm still at post by the fire - all cozy comfy.

A rather grueling day at work today. My back's starting to hurt again now that my stress level is picking up... It's nice that we moved the old couch to the back room by the fireplace - I can get comfy in a prone position now. Still bouncing around on the bouncy ball as chair - I think that's the only thing that's saving my back at this point and allowing me to keep working.

Made mashed potatoes and hamburger gravy for dinner tonight. My first attempt at this recipe and I really think it turned out pretty good. Lots of mashie leftovers for potato pancakes later in the week.

The baby fish are doing incredibly well. I'm craving a beach vacation.

Average Daily Mood: 5
Average Daily Sky: 2
Notable Food Consumption: Hamburger gravy and mashed potatoes, as noted previously.

Monday, January 22, 2007

#$%&*(#$%!!!! I'm cold!!!

It wasn't terribly cold outside today, but it sure did feel colder inside than out. I've been miserable most of the day today... just trying to get warm. I'm wearing down booties and a hat INDOORS and I'm still cold. Shivering cold.

And when I'm really really cold, I have an insatiable appetite. I want to eat anything and everything I can get my hands on. Good thing I went grocery shopping yesterday, or I wouldn't have had anything to eat and would have consequently been very very cranky.

I was, in fact, so cold and hungry today that I ate oatmeal in an attempt to get both warm and full. I hate oatmeal.

I'm sitting (right now, as a matter of fact) about 6 inches from a roaring fire and I'm still cold.

The new couch was supposed to come today, but didn't. Now we're scheduled for Wednesday. Still excited, really bummed about it not coming today... was so looking forward to curling up on the chaise!

Baby fish update: all 3 still doing fabulously! They're growing like little weeds... two are much bigger than the other, but all seem to be doing well overall.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 1
Notable Food Consumption: In order: granola bar, oatmeal (blegh), granola bar, kielbasa on a roll, chips and salsa, granola bar, pretzels, barbecue chicken, rice, chips and salsa, granola bar. blegh.

Day Twenty-One

Day twenty-one. Working my way through January a lot faster than I ever thought possible.

I noticed that the daffodils are coming up already, and I'm wondering if they'll realize they're up way too early, and hold back their sprouts somehow... or if they'll die off completely and we won't have any flowers this spring. It will definitely be interesting to find out. All the trees are budding already too. Part of me feels bad for them, part of me hopes that the chestnut won't bloom this year. Makes a hell of a mess on the deck - sticky white flowers that turn to goo and glue themselves to everything, including shoes and then any flooring surface in the house. They're not picky.

Grocery shopping was horrendous - haven't been in a very very long time. Groceries over and above the top of the cart - not to mention piled up on the rack underneath.

Saved $42 on the total order, just for having and using the store card and being a coupon junkie. Success!

Average Daily Mood: 6
Average Daily Sky: 1
Notable Food Consumption: Kielbasa

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Days Nineteen and Twenty

Days nineteen and twenty almost blend together...

Day Nineteen
Good work day on Friday. Got a lot done but still can't seem to catch up on everything. More stuff keeps rolling in. And in. And in.

Nice dinner date and a terrific steak.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 6
Notable Food Consumption: That steak I mentioned earlier.

Day Twenty
The weather couldn't decide what it wanted to do today. First grey, then a little snowy, then more grey with some hints of sun... Sun right before sundown. Great.

Cleaned most of the house today in anticipation for Monday's couch "event". Rearranged the furniture and now our old futon has taken up residence in the TV room. Which is really nice, because all we have back there for furniture is three camp chairs. Comfy, but not exactly "classy".

Earlier in the week, we were supposed to have friends visit this weekend. They cancelled. We were invited to a party for tonight... we didn't go. Decided to keep cleaning instead. Not exactly how I prefer to spend my Saturday nights, but then again I'm not feeling all that spectacular and if it really is some sort of bug I don't want to spread it around.

Since this blog is *somewhat* about the weather and its affect on my well-being, I added a super-snazzy weather module off to the right courtesty of Weather.com... check it out - now you can see the weather I'm dealing with at any given time. (Share my pain?)

Sigh. It's past 8pm and I'm still in my pajamas.
Average Daily Mood: 4
Average Daily Sky: 5
Notable Food Consumption: A nice bowl of spaghetti.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Day Eighteen.

It's day 18, and day 2 of the baby fish. They're doing great so far, and I'd swear they're twice as big as they were yesterday. Amazing. They swim, they eat, and clearly they digest. And so incredibly tiny.

Another pretty good day... got a lot done today but with work going the way it is, I kind of need to. Tomorrow it starts all over again, and it has to start early because I have a lot to get done before 10 AM. It's all good though - I'd much rather be busy than bored.

We're 3 days from the couch.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 7
Notable Food Consumption: Honestly I didn't consume one healthy thing today, not even something so delicious I want to rave about it. And I'm a foodie. Gotta work on that.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Day Seventeen. Surprise!

Today was a great day.

Second thing I do in the morning is feed the kids. Kids being one cat, a tankful of tropical fish, and a betta in his own bowl. Wonder upon wonders what did I discover in the tank this morning during breakfast?


Yes, three teeny tiny baby fish. Please allow me to emphasize the ***tiny***. I, of course, freaked out. How incredibly awesome. My sunburst platys are now proud parents. Post-joy-freak-out, I lost my mind in a different fashion. What do I do with them? Having about zero maternal instinct myself, but understanding quite a bit about how nature works, I immediately began to eye all the fish in the tank up as potential predators. At least I have a lot of plants floating around on the top of the tank (some I've put there intentionally, others have been uprooted by Hank, our coelacanth / algae eater), which the little babies were hiding in.

Hoping they would be safe until I could run out, I retreated to my day's duties. I could not, however, keep my mind off of them knowing everyone else in the tank looked hungry. 7 or 8 handfulls of fish flakes for the predatory bunch should keep them distracted...

And it did. One trip to Elmer's and $11.95 later, I am now the proud owner of a breeding tank and "fry food" for baby fish. A half hour's worth of chasing three little swimmies each the size of a 1/8" piece of refillable pencil lead (little guys are fast!) and we're all safe now. And I'm crazy excited about them.

What else? Today was a good work day also. Things are really moving and shaking. I was, and felt, productive. Days like that are always good.

Finally got a bunch of stuff out in the mail that I've been meaning to send for months. MONTHS. What is my problem?

A stellar dinner (thank you very much) of field greens with broiled salmon over top and raspberry walnut vinaigrette. Yum. I then baked up a batch of creme wafers (with purple frosting to boot) - I haven't made those in several years. Boy claims they're like shotgun shells full of sugar. Not sure how I feel about that.

Average Daily Mood: 9
Average Daily Sky: 8
Notable Food Consumption: see salad as noted above

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Day Sixteen

Halfway through January and things are going a-okay. Work was killer today - I'm not even sure what happened to each hour in the day. Matter of fact I completely lost track of time from 1:00 until about 8:00.

Nothing to eat in the house. Ordered pizza for dinner, which we haven't done in a really long time, so that was fun.

Company's here and we have a roaring fire going, so I'm off. Just wanted to check in and keep everything on track.

Average Daily Mood: 6
Average Daily Sky: 4
Notable Food Consumption: pizza

Monday, January 15, 2007

Day Fifteen. Not So Bad.

Not bad at all, today was... despite the pouring rain all day. The little fuzzy one hung out with me in the office most of the day.

Balls to the wall work mode - today and for the next few. Looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend.

The stockings are *still* all hung by the chimney with care. At least the tree is down and out.

T-minus 6 days unti we finally get the *real* big boy and girl couch we ordered months ago. Really looking forward to cozying up in my new chaise.

Average Daily Mood: 8
Average Daily Sky: 1
Notable Food Consumption: curly fries

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Days Twelve, Thirteen and Fourteen...

I didn't drop off the face of the earth. Promise. I just got really busy all of a sudden and, well, a few things went to the wayside. This blog being (obviously) one of those things.

Let me tell you about the past few days:

Friday the 12th. Crazy day at work. There's so much going on right now that it's nigh onto scary. Really scary. But I'd really rather be active than bored. If I could just get the feel of my office back on track, I really think I'd be a much happier girl during the course of any day. The balance in there is just awful. That huge hulking desk is so distracting. At least I finally got the floor cleaned up. Just a few more boxes of useless crap to get out of there.

Class at the Mesa was amazing. I learned quite a lot during that one session (a full hour and a half longer than originally planned and /or anticipated). Purchased a few new crystals to add to the collection, and now I have a new book to hunt for.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 6
Notable Food Consumption: lots of peach cream pie

Which brings us to day Thirteen. Saturday.

Woke up early with a blazing headache - aftermath from Friday night's studies? Perhaps.

It was, however, to my benefit that I woke up early - without the headache it may not have even been possible. It was a really sleepy Saturday, a little chilly, and definitely very rainy and foggy. More suited for snoozing than for jumping in the car and driving for an hour and a half, but drive I did. Up to Meadville to help make product. Always fun. Back in the early evening and then out for ribs and coleslaw. Yum.

Average Daily Mood:
Average Daily Sky: 4
Notable Food Consumption: Asiago cheese bagle, ribs and coleslaw. It was a good eating day.


Sunday was a lazy Sunday, and as a matter of fact, I'm still in my pajamas. It's just past 7:30. PM. No point in changing now. Some laundry done, some finances wrangled, and the Sunday paper plowed through. That's just about it.

Onward and upward into next week. It's going to be killer.

Average Daily Mood:
Average Daily Sky: 4
Notable Food Consumption: bacon and eggs, Florida citrus, pizza

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Day Eleven - Finally, a day you'll want to read about!

Today was a good day.

Productive work, great client calls, catching up on and with friends, and a peach cream pie in the oven. Lots of good memories associated with that to boot.

The weekend looks promising - I'm signed up for a crystal class at the Mesa tomorrow night, and I'll be headed out to Annadele Saturday morning for product-making.

And oh yeah, Scrubs is on. Beat that!


Average Daily Mood: 9
Average Daily Sky: 9
Notable Food Consumption: soon to be a slice of peach cream pie

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Day Ten

The mailman brought the monster box of oranges I've been anxiously awaiting today! Ithink it took about, oh, 3 seconds for me to rip the box open and dive in... I barely made it to the kitchen!

It was nice that he knocked on the door - not only did he save my oranges from freezing outside, I finally got to pass along his holiday gift.

Sometimes, when there is no sunshine around you, the next best sunshine is imported from Florida in a rind.

I feel like I accomplished a lot today, which is an unusual feeling of late. Maybe that's just because it wasn't pitch black at 4:00 and I could actually focus after 3:30.

It's steak time.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 5 (grey, peeks of sun, snowing... wash, rinse, repeat)
Notable Food Consumption: oranges, oranges, oranges! and a T bone steak!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Day Nine. On time, imagine that?

While I'm dredging up info to cover Day Eight, I figured I may as well tackle Day Nine while the tater tots are cooking up.

Today wasn't bad, nothing exciting. Work, mail, bills, yadda yadda. I'm eagerly anticipating the arrival of some semi-liquid / semi-solid sunshine from the state of Florida...

Two Robins in our chestunt tree early this morning. All huddled-down and fluffed up in their feathers. It was snowing.

Hey, Mother Nature, you know I'm your biggest fan, but would you mind re-sending your email on migration dates back out to the birds? I know it was 60 on Saturday, but 31 and snowing on Tuesday is a hell of a trick to play on our feathered friends. Kinda mean, if you ask me. I can keep filling the feeders for all the Chickadees, Blue Jays and Cardinals in the world, but when the ground freezes over, there's not too much the Robins can do.

With that said...

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 5 (grey, then snowing, then sun, then snowing...)
Notable Food Consumption: Another glass of Camauro's Cagnina di Romagna, some serious burgers and tater tots, as mentioned previously.

Day Eight. What Happened?

Day Eight. Yes, I screwed up again, and the crafty will see that I'm posting this on the 9th. My computer was commandeered yesterday late, and I didn't quite make it to post. That, plus I really didn't feel like I had it in me. A tidal wave of morose crashed in and I was nothing short of grey melancholy.

Frankly, I don't even remember what happened yesterday.

Average Daily Mood: 5
Average Daily Sky: 5
Notable Food Consumption: Camauro's Cagnina di Romagna. I'd bathe in it if I could.

Other affecting factors: nada

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Day Seven

Today was, finally, not so bad. Lazy Sundays are always good - sleep in, trundle out and get the paper, cut the coupons, screw around.

Did some holiday returns / exchanges... Like Christmas all over again.

My cousin and her family are considering moving to New York. Having just come from there, I was more than happy to help and point them in the right direction - sent them a huge email with tips. Always gives me warm fuzzies being able to help in a situation where I didn't really have any.

Feels like the fog is starting to clear a little.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 2
Notable Food Consumption: ribs in the crock pot and a killer mango Misto from Rita's

Other affecting factors: shopping (i'm beginning to see a trend here...)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Day Six

Today really wasn't too bad. Slept till noon. Needed that. Did some shopping. Apparently I needed that too; a little time to just go and do and not think so much. Paid the bills. Made some cupcakes, they turned out not so pretty, but they sure are tasty! Ferris Bueller's Day off was on VH1 (go figure?) and so that made for a lovely evening.

I'm still feeling hazy.

Average Daily Mood: 6
Average Daily Sky: 3
Notable Food Consumption: all the leftovers we could find, yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting

Other affecting factors: shopping, I'm still pining for a puppy and it's been particularly bad today since the cat's not feeling very lovey

Friday, January 05, 2007

Day Five

Today could best be described as a typical Pittsburgh weather day - temperature hovering around 60, completely overcast, and raining all day. Although, now that I think about it, that's not typical for Pittsburgh in January. In fact, it's really kind of creepy and surreal.

Today was the aftermath of yesterday's migrane, complete with that sour-stomach-yuck feeling.

I've been in a haze, seemingly, for days.

Average Daily Mood: 2
Average Daily Sky: 1
Notable Food Consumption: blueberry green tea, Stilton Chicken at Pipers

Other affecting factors: migrane aftermath

High: 61 Low: 50 Precipitation: 1.04"
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Sunrise: 7:43 AM Sunset: 5:07 PM

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Day Four

An earlier post this evening, in a more concerted effort to remain on track.

Misery today, sheer misery. As I wallowed my way through a migrane attack (which is now, thankfully, over) and the haze of the aftermath (never pretty), I stopped to wonder if I really ever got a satisfying look out the window today. I'm not really sure.

By the time I realized it fully, well, it was dark.

Here's to hoping tomorrow shines a little brighter.


Average Daily Mood: 1
Average Daily Sky: 7
Notable Food Consumption: chai tea, french bread pizza

Other affecting factors: blinding migrane

High: 57 Low: 35 Precipitation: 0"
Moon: Full
Sunrise: 7:43 AM Sunset: 5:06 PM

Day Three. Yes, I Screwed Up.

Before anyone mentions it - yes, I screwed up. Clearance shopping got the better of hubby and me last night and before I knew it, it was well past midnight. Habits are hard to break, yes, but I'm finding they're even harder to start.

Here's yesterday's stats:


Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 8
Notable Food Consumption: cereal, chicken with broccoli and cheese

Other affecting factors: Clearance shopping. Rock on Linens N Things.
High: 52 Low: 30 Precipitation: 0"
Moon: Full
Sunrise: 7:43 AM Sunset: 5:05 PM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Day Two

Day two it is. I'm exhausted, so this one's short. Taking down the Christmas tree is a bit of a bummer - the holidays are now officially over whether I like it or not.

Average Daily Mood: 3
Average Daily Sky: 9
Notable Food Consumption: nice turkey sandwich, pork and sauerkraut, chocolate

Other affecting factors: The most ridiculous day at work ever to top off the New Year.

High: 42 Low: 32 Precipitation: 0.02"
Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Sunrise: 7:43 AM Sunset: 5:04 PM

Monday, January 01, 2007

And so it begins.

The first of the year. A time for "resolutions", don't they always say? Today begins my own resolution - a study of sorts.

I moved to Pittsburgh from New York a little over a year ago, and what a change that was. 99% for the ultimate good. I've gained time, I've gained sanity, I've had the opportunity to learn a little bit more about me.

That pesky 1%? Well, that 1% is rapidly proving itself to be the complete bane of my exsistence, and it's not something I can control or even really do anything about.

It's the weather.

Pittsburgh has often been noted as rainer, or generally more overcast, than Seattle, Washington. As I get older, and now that I have lived here for some time and experienced this weather phenomenon, I have found that the weather has a profound effect on my mood - not to mention my functionality and eating habits.

So begins the study of myself vs. the weather. To make things "chart-able" I hereby establish the study scale:

Average Daily Mood
1 extremely low --> 10 extremely high

Average Daily Sky
1 dark grey, completely ov
ercast --> 10 bright sun, zero cloud cover

Notable Food Consumption

While this isn't exactly the most "scientific" of studies, these two simple parameters (plus one extra, just to see) will help me establish mood levels vs. Pittsburgh weather, and we'll see if I really am affected to the point of seasonal affective disorder, or if I'm merely losing my mind.

Sipping the dredges of last night's champagne toast.

Welcome to 2007. Let's see what happens from here.

Average Daily Mood: 7
Average Daily Sky: 3
Notable Food Consumption: pork and sauerkraut, chocolate

Other affecting factors: Company, holidays, shopping

High: 54 Low: 34 Precipitation: 0.05"
Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Sunrise: 7:43 AM Sunset: 5:03 PM